and this is where we say goodbye

in case you were wondering about me, which you weren't because you don't exist, i'm okay. i spent a while in a mental hospital and then i think i just forgot that i even had this blog. i'm on tumblr now at zeptron.tumblr.com and you should check it out if you're reading this, which, to be honest, you aren't.

i seem to have dyed my hair back to its darkish brown color. i have bangs. i stopped with the cheerleading bullshit and now i'm just me. i'm kind of a hipster and i don't care and i miss victoria who has spent all year in germany and i miss rachel who hates me and there are other things i miss but i'm just going to stop talking now.

there isn't much to say except goodbye.

and i seem to have missed the point

yes, I have no followers, but i think i should still be blogging. there isn't anything interesting to say, but i can talk for hours about nothing. I'm failing spanish and history, IB classes, very stressed. panic attacks, going insane, its all normal, right?

and there is nothing interesting to say. goodnight.

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Now playing: The Mountain Goats - Have To Explode
via FoxyTunes

about last night

sorry about that post last night. drugs are bad, kids. don't do drugs (or take your mother's migraine medicine)... today the post is about my day, because it sucked, and I had a fucking awful day. excuse the language.

starting off in the morning, I woke up late and didn't have time to straighten and dry my hair after my shower. normally this would be fine, but since I bleached my hair it looks weird in a ponytail. and if I leave it down to dry, god, I don't even want to think about how it looks then. so I went downstairs and my mom forced cocoa puffs down my throat and handed me a pill that tasted like crushed bugs. ick. since I was getting inducted into Spanish Honor Society today, I wore a nice little dress with a frumpy and hideous sweater. as I got on the bus I realized two things: 1) I had a horrible headache, and 2) my dress didn't cover my bra. as a result, I spent all day pulling the straps of my dress up and covering them with my ugly sweater which I couldn't take off.

first period was Algebra 2 and that class puts me to sleep every single time I walk in the door. I did my work and then I sat staring straight ahead for the rest of class. but unfortunately Algebra is HARD and so now I have no idea what we learned and doing my homework is proving impossible.

then I went to RAISE time which is like study hall and I had to go to Chemistry because I needed to take a quiz. most likely, I failed said quiz. but I have an A in that class so life is good. after RAISE I went to gym which is generally not horrible but we had to go to elections today and I didn't know who to choose so I picked the people who had the best videos. talked to a friend who I always talk to in that class because she is awesome. also she IS PRETTY, a fact I wish I could instill into her brain.

after gym I went to my locker to get my backpack. my boyfriend found me there. I'd been avoiding him for two weeks and he noticed. so he asked me if I'd been avoiding him and I said yes and broke up with him. so that sucked. I'm pretty sure I almost cried. then in English we watched that woman, Susan Boyle, on Britain's Got Talent and I cried. we also read some taming of the shrew, which was Exciting. in my opinion, taming Of the shrew is a fantastic play, even if my feminist values feel crushed and deprived of oxygen after I read even One sentence.

spanish was no fun either, because I had a test on APACE Y TECH which is a fancy way of saying "the subjunctive". and I probably Failed because I didn't know the answers to most of the questions. I almost fell asleep after the test but managed to stay awake partially due to the intense amount of Fruit2O that was flowing through my bloodstream at the time.

after spanish class I went off to be inducted into the spanish Honor society. since I'm also a member of the national honor society And the international thespian society, this was nothing new for me. just kidding, it was kind of fun. sorta kinda reconnected with a friend. sort of. kind of. maybe. but I don't think she Likes me and truthfully I don't blame her. there isn't anything in particular I did wrong except I was a Jerk for almost an entire year. so sorry, if you're reading this, about the jerkiness of me. I find my condition to be much improved and perfectly ready for a second, third, or fourth chance.

when I got home I realized I almost Immediately needed to go to tumbling. I did that and it was good and all, but I got tired really quickly and my Coach says I need to be able to run 3 miles in 30 minutes. which I can't do. no way, no how, not I. guess I'll try, though. when I got home I found strange spots on my hands that wouldn't go away. creepy, right? so then my mom and I went to the austin grill, a place that serves good Food. I enjoy their mexican corn soup because it is Spicy and also creamy at the same time. we had a $10 off coupon which is the reason we went.

and now I am sitting here on my computer trying to stop procrastinating and just doing my fucking homework already. I have chem work x3, and government homework. also I should be preparing myself for the day of silence, which is tomorrow. woot! how long will I be able to stay silent for? probably not very long... oh well.

it's a story, folks

this is what happens when I take Amerge for my migraines instead of Imitrex:

how it happened is none of her business and she knows that now, or she thinks she does. heavy, her head falls to the side and she drifts into a light slumber. upon waking she discovers that a mean trick has been played and her socks are missing. frantic, she bumbles around for several moments searching for the socks which are crucial to keeping her warm. as her toes begin to freeze and snap off frigidly, she starts to sob. socks were the last comfort. slowly a warm hand touches her toes and they reappear one by one, followed by her soft blue socks. lifting her head, she sees the kind smile of an old woman looking down at her and the woman takes her hands and tugs gently. she follows the old woman down a path covered by the snow and into a house smelling of freshly baked bread. as she is shoved into the oven by the woman's now rough fingers, she greets her brother who she foolishly left in the woods. in the cold of winter, it is best not to leave your friends to suffer alone.

back handsprings

So my newest activity in life is tumbling. at the beginning of next year, I plan on trying out for my school's varsity cheerleading team, because I refuse to accept JV as an option. I've been tumbling since december and it's going surprisingly well. since I am an athlete already, it hasn't been hard for me to get into shape or anything.

starting with dance- I'm not so good at this part. the moves are hard to memorize and difficult to execute. it has taken me two months to get one dance down. granted, I only have 30 minute lessons once a week. the dance I'm working on is really fun and happy and spunky, which is easy for me to portray because it's kind of my personality. my coach is doing a good job of teaching it to me I think. trying to put it to music now, which is confusing, but fun.

okay, so the cheering part is the part I need to work on most. my motions are sharp but I have trouble remembering them. and I can't really seem to get my voice to do what I want it to. "go big blue and gold, go big BLUE" is the cheer, and it's kind of repetitive and silly.

jumps are crazy. I didn't know I could do that with my body <-- haha, that's what she said. anyway, I have my toe touch almost table-top, my pike is good, but the rest of my jumps suck. and I try so hard, but it's really insanely difficult to throw oneself into the air and still manage to be thinking about things like where your hands go when you land. the double toe-touch was probably created by the devil, as was the 'around the world' (is that what it's called? like a toe touch to a pike all in one jump). how am I expected to be able to do these things?

tumbling is the best part by FAR. my round-offs are very fun and my coach says they're greaaat. I have my back handspring by myself on the floor, and am working on double back handsprings on the trampoline and handstand-snapdown backhandsprings on the floor. hopefully by mid-may I'll be able to start round-off backhandsprings and my goal is back tucks by tryouts in August. I LOVE tumbling and think it is so much fun and wish I could spend my whole lesson tumbling. right now I want to be doing 2 or 3 lessons a week, but according to my parents we have 0 dollars to spend on anything. so I get one lesson. for 30 minutes. and when I'm at home I usually work out everyday, because I want to get better fast and be a flyer next year on the varsity team.

for the end of this post I'm just going to say I'll probably post again today, as I'm procrastinating on my chemistry and government homework. again.

bo burnham

he's basically my favorite person ever. I could marry him, really. have you heard his stuff? look him up on youtube and you'll probably die inside a little bit. because there's nothing better than bo burnham to de-stress yourself.

so you don't actually know me yet, or maybe you do, but I'm zoe and this is my blog. I guess... Okay, I'm 16 and I'm a horseback rider and I do tumbling, so like back handsprings and stuff. I have pets- two dogs and a cat. I used to have a pony, but we sold him and it was very sad. now I ride other people's ponies, which makes me happy. usually they are young ponies and I train them.

other things about me-- I spend a lot of time on facebook, youtube, and deviantart. most of my time is spent on the internet, which is sad but realistic. recently I bleached my dark brown hair so now it's kind of a orange-y blonde color. it's okay but not exactly what I wanted it to be. if you knew me you would probably say I'm very liberal. which is true. but I get along well with most people because I am very quiet and relaxed. I don't talk to a lot of people but when I make friends I get really close and talk constantly. up until last year I had four best friends, now I guess I have two, and it's part my fault and part not. music is love and heart and soul and I watch too much television for my own good. also, I write a lot of lame poetry and read a lot of fanfiction (but I read books too, I promise).

school is intense. I take pre-IB classes and those should not be as difficult as they are. part of the problem is that I don't do homework. luckily, I'm a good test taker so I get A's and B's. our school just changed the grading scale so it should be easier to get good grades next year. I used to be a straight A student in 8th grade. freshmen year sucked and but I did relatively well. I got all A's except in math. and then this year I'm not doing nearly as well. my incredibly high expectations for myself probably don't help with my stess level. my ultimate goal is to go to college in California because I watched the O.C. and desperatly love california with a burning passion. Stanford is the goal, I have to admit, because I want to be a neurosurgeon. Berkeley would be fine, as would basically any other school in california. I refuse to go to college in the north, because I've lived in north VA all my life and am deeply torn between southern states and northern states but prefer the south because people are nicer and more relaxed and ALSO it's warm. snow is my enemy. any school in the south would be okay with me. it needs to be warm and beautiful and a really fantastic school.

well, now that you know a few small facts about me, I can go away. I think I'll try to blog just about every day, or whenever I have time. future blog topics: tumbling, riding, music, movies, tv, youtube, facebook, bo burnham, etc.